The title of this latest instalment is a song I'm currently learning for gigging purposes. It was suggested to me by someone else, but man... It's screamingly appropriate right now.
Sarah tells it like it is and no mistaking. I'm meandering through my days in fierce denial. The trial is almost two weeks away and I've a feeling that, no matter what the outcome is, it's going to feel shitty. You know it's not how I wanted things to be with The Man. Nevertheless, it's the way things have gone so a pragmatic and practical approach is required for the time being - if only to get me through the dreaded day itself.
In other news, alcohol is proving to be something of an emotional buffer for me. I know it's not a healthy way of coping with the situation, but the way I see it, the 'situation' will be over soon.
It hasn't all been doom and gloom though. I've a nice little earner coming up in the form of a dinner / dance gig. Although not the most satisfying in creative terms, these 'dos' always prove to be quite lucrative.
And there's more good stuff... At the weekend I was a willing participant in some gin research and discovered some real corkers. I think I can safely say that Brockmans, Monkey 47 and Cadenhead's would all be up your straße. Especially Cadenhead's; it's Scottish and 50% proof. What's not to like?
I continue to spend wonderful evenings with SG Guy. He's uncomplicated, generous and has the most sublime touch. His apartment has become something of a haven for me, a rooftop escape from all the sewage down below.
Time for me to attempt sleep. These days it tends to be disturbed by anxiety inducing dreams, but I have a feeling things might be a bit easier in a month or so. Goodnight Dobson.
Frankie
