Dear Dobson,
Whilst you're up in court today, being one of twelve men good and true, I am at home sitting on my arse eating taramasalata and Turkish bread and mostly procrastinating like a bastard.
I am supposed to be filling in the application form for the next level of my course, but it's all way too demanding for a Tuesday. They want to know things like 'Why?', 'How?', 'What?' and 'Do you have any mental health problems?'
As a result of the cursed application form, today's agenda has consisted of the following; I have carried out several menial housework tasks, been for a run, showered, Facebooked, logged my run, had a few games of Diamond Twister 2, drunk copious amounts of tea and managed to sandwich several wanks between all of the above. I am now eating and blogging simultaneously - there is no end to my talents.
There is, of course, a deadline for the application - Tuesday 7th May - but that's ages away non? After all it's still April and you know how I work better under pressure... If my current modus operandi is anything to go by, I'm pretty sure there will be plenty more riveting posts for you to read before then. I'll bet you can't wait.
Frankie
Tuesday 30 April 2013
Monday 22 April 2013
Wank: The Sequel
Dear Dobson,
I share your concerns about the general dip in our readership that tends to occur whenever we discuss lady matters that don't involve vaginas, anuses, vibrators or bodily fluids.
At the moment, the trouble for me is that I'm having way too much good sex to want to write about it. Add to that the feelings I have for The Man and it does bring a certain reluctance to share the details of our lovemaking with all and sundry whether this is an anonymous blog or not.
When I was single and wanking was obsessively high on the agenda it was a very different state of affairs. Nowadays masturbation is something I can take or leave, but that's not to say it doesn't happen. As I mentioned before, Thatcher's funeral whipped me up into a veritable frenzy and sometimes when I watch James Martin on Saturday Kitchen that gives me the right horn. Though I must admit my degree of wetness depends on how heavy he's looking, someone should tell him that wearing a black shirt isn't a magic cure-all.
Frankie
I share your concerns about the general dip in our readership that tends to occur whenever we discuss lady matters that don't involve vaginas, anuses, vibrators or bodily fluids.
At the moment, the trouble for me is that I'm having way too much good sex to want to write about it. Add to that the feelings I have for The Man and it does bring a certain reluctance to share the details of our lovemaking with all and sundry whether this is an anonymous blog or not.
When I was single and wanking was obsessively high on the agenda it was a very different state of affairs. Nowadays masturbation is something I can take or leave, but that's not to say it doesn't happen. As I mentioned before, Thatcher's funeral whipped me up into a veritable frenzy and sometimes when I watch James Martin on Saturday Kitchen that gives me the right horn. Though I must admit my degree of wetness depends on how heavy he's looking, someone should tell him that wearing a black shirt isn't a magic cure-all.
Frankie
Wank
Frankie,
Just a tester. Do more people read this blog when it has masturbation in it? Sex sex sex, wank, vibrator.
I thought we had a more discerning audience than that...
Love ya.
Dobson, the biggest wanker of them all.
Just a tester. Do more people read this blog when it has masturbation in it? Sex sex sex, wank, vibrator.
I thought we had a more discerning audience than that...
Love ya.
Dobson, the biggest wanker of them all.
Sunday 21 April 2013
The Love Train. Toot. Toot.
Frankster,
Thatcher is dead? When did this happen? I loved her on 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.'
Bugger.
Yes. Love is a very nice distraction from blogging, or indeed anything ending in 'ing'. Probably not shagging though, now I come to think of it.
I am pleased you are on The Love Train (See what I did there? Seamless). Tooting your horn and filling your hole with coal. Bloody marvellous.
I do believe that Karma has arrived for you, and the changes that we predicted back in December seem to be coming to fruition.
For me, I'm a wee bit more in love with life, and myself again. It's been a long journey, but actually, I think I am an okay person.
Maybe we both decided that actually, we are both a bit cool, and deserve some of the good stuff. I feel it enough to say it out loud too.
On a complete tangent, but sort of not, I have noticed a positive change in my dad. The reason is simple. The father that abandoned him over 60 years again has been found. Obviously, he is no longer around, dying at 50 something in 1969.... but.... I think it gave him some closure.
No doubt there will be some family stuff that comes out, but he sounded so buoyant and happy, and making plans to go on some trips, live a bit. I could hear it in his voice and it oozed over the phone.
C'mon Karma. Keep doing the do!
Lub you. Seriously.
Dobster
Thatcher is dead? When did this happen? I loved her on 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.'
Bugger.
Yes. Love is a very nice distraction from blogging, or indeed anything ending in 'ing'. Probably not shagging though, now I come to think of it.
I am pleased you are on The Love Train (See what I did there? Seamless). Tooting your horn and filling your hole with coal. Bloody marvellous.
I do believe that Karma has arrived for you, and the changes that we predicted back in December seem to be coming to fruition.
For me, I'm a wee bit more in love with life, and myself again. It's been a long journey, but actually, I think I am an okay person.
Maybe we both decided that actually, we are both a bit cool, and deserve some of the good stuff. I feel it enough to say it out loud too.
On a complete tangent, but sort of not, I have noticed a positive change in my dad. The reason is simple. The father that abandoned him over 60 years again has been found. Obviously, he is no longer around, dying at 50 something in 1969.... but.... I think it gave him some closure.
No doubt there will be some family stuff that comes out, but he sounded so buoyant and happy, and making plans to go on some trips, live a bit. I could hear it in his voice and it oozed over the phone.
C'mon Karma. Keep doing the do!
Lub you. Seriously.
Dobster
Wednesday 17 April 2013
Love Is A Many Splendored Thing
Dear Dobson,
It seems we have both been distracted from bloggage for one reason or another. Alas, I have not been dreamy-eyed about hall tables or doing up my house... I have been riding the express train of love, travelling first-class, accompanied arm in arm by The Man.
Much can happen in a short space of time and as you know from previous confessions I was very aware that stirrings of a non-sexual nature were happening. Those things called 'feelings' were manifesting themselves and as uncomfortable as they were making me, I sat with them. I'm glad I did.
All areas of life are good. The Karma Police have finally discovered where I'm living and decided that a little payback is due. I'd say way overdue, but beggars can't be choosers - or summat. Even the weather is warming up, about cunting time though, it is the middle of April...
The Man is on his way round now so I must love you and leave you. Would it be wrong to crack a quick one off whilst watching Thatcher's funeral?
Frankie
It seems we have both been distracted from bloggage for one reason or another. Alas, I have not been dreamy-eyed about hall tables or doing up my house... I have been riding the express train of love, travelling first-class, accompanied arm in arm by The Man.
Much can happen in a short space of time and as you know from previous confessions I was very aware that stirrings of a non-sexual nature were happening. Those things called 'feelings' were manifesting themselves and as uncomfortable as they were making me, I sat with them. I'm glad I did.
All areas of life are good. The Karma Police have finally discovered where I'm living and decided that a little payback is due. I'd say way overdue, but beggars can't be choosers - or summat. Even the weather is warming up, about cunting time though, it is the middle of April...
The Man is on his way round now so I must love you and leave you. Would it be wrong to crack a quick one off whilst watching Thatcher's funeral?
Frankie
Monday 8 April 2013
Faffery
Dear Frankie,
Bunny? Was that a friend of yours from private school?
I am generally faffing this year. Hence lack of bloggage. I am mostly floating in a jetstream of 'Let's just see what happens-ness'. I feel this is the best course of action. This will, of course, need to be revised at some point, but I feel a bit of a calm before the storm.
I have just come back from Scotland, where I normally feel a bit unsetttled and undecided about the future. I have this time come back feeling like I was coming home more. I want to 'do my house up', get settled at work and buy a hall table. That sort of thing.
I also have to train for this fecking 10k. Christ.
That's all the news that is fit to print. I started this blog in total peace. As per, everyone has now come in the room.
The other thing I am 'getting done' is an office in the back garden.
With a fucking padlock.
Lub you.
Dobson
Bunny? Was that a friend of yours from private school?
I am generally faffing this year. Hence lack of bloggage. I am mostly floating in a jetstream of 'Let's just see what happens-ness'. I feel this is the best course of action. This will, of course, need to be revised at some point, but I feel a bit of a calm before the storm.
I have just come back from Scotland, where I normally feel a bit unsetttled and undecided about the future. I have this time come back feeling like I was coming home more. I want to 'do my house up', get settled at work and buy a hall table. That sort of thing.
I also have to train for this fecking 10k. Christ.
That's all the news that is fit to print. I started this blog in total peace. As per, everyone has now come in the room.
The other thing I am 'getting done' is an office in the back garden.
With a fucking padlock.
Lub you.
Dobson
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