Monday 3 December 2012

Frankie's Inferno

Dear Dobson,

December has arrived with a vengeance, there is no denying it.  Despite having the central heating turned up to ‘inferno’ my feet are still like blocks of ice.  I am chilled to the bone like a skeletal eighty-four year old.  Today’s purchases reflect this:

1 x Trendy fleece lined hat
2 x Pairs thick ‘winter’ socks
1 x Mug for hot ‘winter’ drinks

You’ll be pleased to hear my trip to the surgery was exactly as anticipated (this satisfied the suppressed GP in me greatly).  I was informed I had a ‘nasty virus’ and was prescribed some strong painkillers to help with the muscular aches and pains.  They are brilliant with a glass or two of wine; a bit trippy but nothing too freaky.  I’m going to save some for my next night out.

Entertainment at the surgery was top notch; in fact, it was a bit of a Bermondsey Revue.  First on we had the young lady complainant in her nightwear / Ugg boots combo...  Did she really think her pyjamas would lend a certain gravitas to her argument and encourage the Nazi receptionist to take her more seriously?

Following on from this we had the exhausted looking mother, nasally whining the names of her children alternately...  ‘Sean’ and ‘Sian’ didn’t give a shit that their mother looked as if she was about to give up on life as they wreaked havoc with leaflets and the automatic doors.  Bless.

From now on I’ve decided I might drop in once a week for fun, just to see who’s on the bill for that day.  I weep for humanity, I really do.  Whatever happened to dignity?

Anyway, I’m off to make myself that hot drink.  It’s at times like this I wish I’d thrown my own dignity aside during the autumn months and ordered a Slanket...

Frankie

PS.  As you will deduce from my bloggage, I am at home and not out having steak as planned.  I cancelled date number two yesterday.  I am now considering my visually challenged admirer.

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