Try The Sleep Thing

Dear Dobson,

Unfortunately your Christmas scenario seems all too familiar for some reason, it strikes the 'famberley' (dis)chord in me...  The more I question whether I'm related to folk like that, the more I know it to be true.  My mantra at the moment seems to be 'I'm a good person, I'm a good person'.  I'm clinging to it by my recently trimmed fingernails.

Currently listening to Lily Allen's 'Who'd Have Known' (aka Five O'Clock In The Morning), because it's almost that witching hour.  I have no desire to be awake at this unearthly time of day, but my brain seems to have made an autocratic decision as to whether we're sleeping or not.  My brain can be a real arse sometimes.

It reassures me that many of our great poets, artists, peformers etc. were tortured souls like me.  What doesn't reassure me however, is that I have done very little, if any, work to fuel my own notoriety or infamy.  Fuck!  If I were to die tomorrow, there would be nothing to remember me by. 

In order to gain said 'fame' I think I need to get a 'predicament' and get myself onto Jeremy Kyle.  I'm thinking heroin might be a good place to start?  I embrace the idea of his smug 'Daily Mail' face telling me what I need to do to magic my life better.  What a shitecunt he is.

Right.  I must attempt the sleep thing again.

Frankie

PS.  If I die tonight, set up a fund or summat.  Kelly Jones from the Stereophonics must be involved, as must Hugh Jackman...  Oh, and Daniel Craig...  Oh, and etc. etc.